The Mushroom Song

© 1988 Stephen Savitzky. CC-by-nc-sa.

Wrote this one while my job at Zilog was going down the tubes. They'd just hired a CEO named Sack, and that's just what he started doing...

Lyrics [pdf]

C G7
  Now everybody knows that engineers are lazy  slobs
They dress in dirty T-shirts and complain about their  jobs
But Management has found a way to  make them toe the mark:
G G7 C G C
You  feed them bits of bullshit, and you keep  them  in  the  dark!
because they're
C G7
  Mushrooms, Mushrooms, keep them in the  dark
Mushrooms, Mushrooms, I heard the boss re mark
You feed them bits of bullshit til they  can't take any more
When they  stick their heads up cut them off and
G G7 G6 G C
   ship  them  out  the  door
An engineer told his manager, ``This project is the pits,
A stinking crock of horse manure that gives me nausious fits,''
The manager went to his boss and passed the word along,
``It's a pot of fertilizer and its smell is awfully strong.''
It comes from...

The word it traveled quickly 'til it reached the CEO,
The VP told him gladly "This is stuff that makes things grow,
It's packaged in ceramic and it's very strong indeed;
I think that you'll agree that it's exactly what we need."
It's made with...

The CEO went to the board and said to them, ``You know,
This substance has the power to make our business grow!''
They had the news that evening on the business TV shows:
``The company is growing and it's smelling like a rose!''
They're growing...

The engineer he heard the news and muttered, "It's a crime
How other guys get all the nifty projects all the time.
We have a real disaster here that just won't go away
'Cause noone ever listens to a single word we say!
Because we're...

We all are...
repeat refrain